How many myths have been propagated by our fretting parents to handle boisterous youths? Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, Peter Pan... Too many. These vary from region to region, language to language.
But one feature stays the same. All of these myths say good things happen to children who are good. Who decides the "goodness" in their actions?
The harassed parents, of course.
Coming to the major topic for this post...
Santa Claus is a myth which bothers me greatly. What is this "good list" of his?
Santa Claus is a highly perverted figure. His laugh itself signifies it. He laughs like, "Ho Ho Ho". And a ho is...? A highly provocative woman who loves the horizontal tango. (See how I used allusions to prevent the eyes of our readers getting overtly sullied? I am a saint :D)
He asks young children to sit on his knee and proclaim what they wish for Christmas. This act places him amongst the ranks of perverts and paedophiles.
He carries a large bag from which he extracts candies to dole out to "deserving" children. Doesn't that sound so very familiar to almost every single "stranger danger" story that we have been subjected to as children?
Last but not the least, the guy sneaks in through the chimney. Is that not the least bit suspicious? If you caught a guy sneaking in through the chimney would you jingle some bells and squeal "Santa" or ring 100 and scream "Thief"? The second option is obviously more likely.
Santa Claus is also the scourge of the Hallmark masses and I admit, a useful method for some poor, fat people to earn some money. But this "bad list", " good list" stuff has got to go.
Again, Please do comment below. :)
Stay Awesome, Stay Retarded. ;)
But one feature stays the same. All of these myths say good things happen to children who are good. Who decides the "goodness" in their actions?
The harassed parents, of course.
Coming to the major topic for this post...
Santa Claus is a myth which bothers me greatly. What is this "good list" of his?
Santa Claus is a highly perverted figure. His laugh itself signifies it. He laughs like, "Ho Ho Ho". And a ho is...? A highly provocative woman who loves the horizontal tango. (See how I used allusions to prevent the eyes of our readers getting overtly sullied? I am a saint :D)
He asks young children to sit on his knee and proclaim what they wish for Christmas. This act places him amongst the ranks of perverts and paedophiles.
He carries a large bag from which he extracts candies to dole out to "deserving" children. Doesn't that sound so very familiar to almost every single "stranger danger" story that we have been subjected to as children?
Last but not the least, the guy sneaks in through the chimney. Is that not the least bit suspicious? If you caught a guy sneaking in through the chimney would you jingle some bells and squeal "Santa" or ring 100 and scream "Thief"? The second option is obviously more likely.
Santa Claus is also the scourge of the Hallmark masses and I admit, a useful method for some poor, fat people to earn some money. But this "bad list", " good list" stuff has got to go.
Again, Please do comment below. :)
Stay Awesome, Stay Retarded. ;)
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