Travails of losing your mobile

I lost my mobile a couple of weeks back and I wish I could say getting a new, much better mobile is worth the whole ordeal but in all honesty, it is not and will never be.

Some of the things I lost along with that clunky, little phone include :

1. Contacts

I lost all my contacts since what feels like the beginning of time. I have never lost my phone before or formatted it by mistake or whatever way it is by which people lose their contacts. I remained depressed for a solid three days because I couldn't remember the numbers of my best friends.

The "Eureka" moment of remembrance happened during electricals period and yes, it was just as mortifying as it sounds.

2. Losing pictures

Don't get me wrong, I am not a vain person. But even the best of us would mourn the loss of those pictures; the ones that matter. The silly pictures where your nose is too big and your hair is too oily but you don't care because the happiness in your eyes makes up for it all.

3. Losing Music

I bet a lot of you said "Ouch" alongside me because hey, ours is a music obsessed generation. The music we listen to is our cred, our identity. Without it we feel as naked as Adam without his fig lesf and a Hawai Girl without her coconuts.

4. Losing Old Chats

This probably hurt the hardest because the rest you can regain (except maybe the pictures). You can beg, borrow and steal them but old chats? Never are those coming back. And it hits you like a steel tipped fist because those are the conversations that carried you through more than one teary night.

Apart from all these you have all those worries about data falling into the wrong hands. So I suggest you guys to never lose your phone or let it out of your sight since prevention is so much more sattisfying than the cure.

If any of you has lost a phone too then please do comment.

Stay awesome, Stay retarded. :)

Ho Ho Ho, Don't Welcome That Pedo.

How many myths have been propagated by our fretting parents to handle boisterous youths? Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, Peter Pan... Too many. These vary from region to region, language to language.

But one feature stays the same. All of these myths say good things happen to children who are good. Who decides the "goodness" in their actions?
The harassed parents, of course.

Coming to the major topic for this post...

Santa Claus is a myth which bothers me greatly. What is this "good list" of his?

Santa Claus is a highly perverted figure. His laugh itself signifies it. He laughs like, "Ho Ho Ho". And a ho is...? A highly provocative woman who loves the horizontal tango. (See how I used allusions to prevent the eyes of our readers getting overtly sullied? I am a saint :D)

He asks young children to sit on his knee and proclaim what they wish for Christmas. This act places him amongst the ranks of perverts and paedophiles. 

He carries a large bag from which he extracts candies to dole out to "deserving" children. Doesn't that sound so very familiar to almost every single "stranger danger" story that we have been subjected to as children?

Last but not the least, the guy sneaks in through the chimney. Is that not the least bit suspicious? If you caught a guy sneaking in through the chimney would you jingle some bells and squeal "Santa" or ring 100 and scream "Thief"? The second option is obviously more likely.

Santa Claus is also the scourge of the Hallmark masses and I admit, a useful method for some poor, fat people to earn some money. But this "bad list", " good list" stuff has got to go.

Again, Please do comment below. :)

Stay Awesome, Stay Retarded. ;)

Wolfing them down

I am not a genre person. I don't have a narrow way of reading books. I like my books varied in styles, well, for the most part. 

But one genre I am not able to tear myself away from and has become a bit of a guilty pleasure for me over years gone by, is the werewolf genre.

I am a Wattpad girl, and am not at all ashamed of admitting my obsession with the application and the site.

The Werewolf genre is in some ways very close to being vilified in the same way that Mills & Boons books have been.

Most of the books have the same cliché plot wherein the big, bad alpha wolf finds his mate whom he loves to the moon and back. The girl resists but in the true "damsel without brains" way falls in love with aforementioned werewolf and they live happily ever after (Obviously this happens after a bloody pack war due to complications in their past lives).

Yes, I know I sound extremely cynical even though I just said they are a guilty pleasure. Don't we all drink vodka or beer even though we know they can cause us to do some supremely stupid things? So in the same way I continue to read the books even though they set my expectations for my future soulemate(s?) unrealistically high.

I like to think I read those books with the same kind of stealth that some girls reserve for their "Fifty Shades Of Grey" copies. Maybe it is because of my frontal lobe keeping up a continuous commentary of exactly how dumb that lass chasing after a four foot high feline is or maybe it is because some of these books can be called R rated in their descriptions of copulating.

The fervour that keeps me reading them is the same intensity with which a "directioner" or a "belieber" leafs through a "Fan Fiction" (One genre that I am thankful I am done and over with) or the same intensity with which a boy picks up his playboy magazines (Without the messy orgasms, thank you very much).

So what do you think of werewolves? Which genre is your "guilty secret"? Please do comment below.

Stay Awesome, Stay Retarded. ;)

What Driving Does to me.

So I have been going for driving classes since almost two weeks and I have to say I ended up coming away harbouring more hatred for the car than I used to have. I have always disliked cars and labelled them as the cause of global warming but now I have a new reason to hold a grudge against those big, metal machines. 

Firstly, Why do we need to change gears? I find it a highly unnecessary exercise. I already have a huge wheel in my hands, which I can barely handle, and now you are telling me I need to twist a stick around (without looking at it, mind you). No, just no.

Secondly, Why are there so many dials up there? Like, we will totally glance at the amount in the fuel tank in heavy traffic. Can't you just have a voice saying, "You are getting low on fuel."?

Thirdly, Why are cars so BIG?! I can barely manage the corner on our side, how do you expect me to stay aware enough to glance at the rearview mirror on the other end too?

Hence, I decreed that cars should be banned from the face of earth. Bikes and cycles are enough. Use public transport.

Buses ki jai. Car Pooling ki hai. 

I invite a healthy debate on this. So do comment :)

Stay awesome. Stay Retarded. :)

Introduction

Hi, My name is Smriti. :)

I am a First Year Student in a college in Bangalore.

Giving out any more details wouldn't be prudent as this is a 'public' platform and my mother has fully informed me about the concept of stranger danger ;)

I have been told I am a bit of a narcissist. Well, yes, I am. Aren't we all? Every single person who has taken a selfie can be counted in the ranks of narcissists so yes, almost every person reading this post.

I decided to begin this blog to relieve some of my narcissism. Better to voice my opinions in a space where one sided conversations are allowed, even encouraged, right? ;)

I do welcome comments, though. :)

Stay Awesome, Stay Retarded.;)